The value of reading

By Quackd • January 29, 2015

Creative Commons photo by New York Public Library Creative Commons photo by New York Public Library

By Katherine Marrone I scared the kids at the elementary school. I know because they’d hide whenever I’d show up in the doorway to their classroom. Fourth-grader Mark would slouch in his chair, hoping I hadn’t seen him. Third-grader Angela would look down at her desk, suddenly fascinated by the multiplication table taped there. Fifth-grader [...]

Why you should never play Bob Dylan at a party

By Quackd • January 28, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Paul Townsend Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Paul Townsend

By Daniel Bromfield Bob Dylan’s a goofy guy. Videos of the folk legend either casually acting up or just stumbling around under the influence of some kind of substance would suggest he’s a hit at parties. If his rendezvous with the Beatles is any indication, he’s always got a little bit of bud to spare. [...]

You know you’re in Eugene when…

By Quackd • January 27, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Jasmine Jinx Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Jasmine Jinx

1. You see a guy playing elevator music while riding a tricycle wrapped in Christmas lights. 2. Your living room smells like cigarettes and weed. And you don’t smoke either. 3. You’re awoken at all hours of the night by the Cahoots van backing up for what seems like twenty minutes. 4. You know what [...]

I am Pluto

By Quackd • January 26, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Kelly the Zebra Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Kelly the Zebra

By Dahlia Bazzaz  My parents have always made me feel like I was the most interesting thing in their lives. To be honest, I’m a textbook youngest child: spoiled, sassy, and stubborn. I was never given a reason to look beyond my own section in the family photo album. “You were the cutest baby in [...]

These shoes

By Quackd • January 22, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Erik Schepers Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Erik Schepers

By Grant Susman These shoes define me. They’ve walked a path that few have seen and even fewer understood. They’ve put me in places I never could have imagined being in and others I couldn’t wait to get out of. They’ve put up with being slammed against the ground repeatedly, even after years of being haplessly [...]

“Not all men!” and other shit I’m sick of hearing

By Quackd • January 22, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Amanda Valaitis Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Amanda Valaitis

By Katherine Marrone 1. “Yes, I know women are objectified in the media more than men… but, but, but, Magic Mike!!” 2. “The advertisers are marketing toward men. So, of course that AXE ad would show a flock of 1800 half-naked women! It makes total sense! How else would men buy the things?” 3.  “You’re one [...]

Free of the pieces

By Quackd • January 21, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Jesus Solana Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Jesus Solana

By Kira Hoffelmeyer  As I sit here writing, I’m ignoring the nagging itch at the tips of my fingers to dial your number. They tingle as if I’ve let them fall asleep, urging them to come back to life. I miss you. You shared stories of your crazy family — in particular, your estranged brother [...]

In a cold room

By Quackd • January 20, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user raychel sonveeco Creative Commons photo by Flickr user raychel sonveeco

Trigger Warning: The following essay deals with an account of intimate partner physical and emotional abuse and may be triggering to some. By Rebecca Ramirez I’ve always been afraid of mirrors — terrified that I wouldn’t see a smile creep across my face, petrified that I wouldn’t see myself happy. When I looked into my smeared [...]

Laundry day

By Quackd • January 19, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Stu Taylor Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Stu Taylor

By Sami Edge I have to wash my sheets. The impulse pounded through my head at 8 a.m. on a Sunday. I was slightly hungover. And pretty sleep deprived. But I couldn’t bear the scent of you for one more minute. I just wanted some fucking control. What a joke. Last night, I thought you’d [...]

Five words to ruin a date

By Quackd • January 16, 2015

Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Jennifer Kelton Creative Commons photo by Flickr user Jennifer Kelton

1. “The doctor says it’s fine!” 2. “Where is the closest Abercrombie?” 3. “I voted for Bush… twice.” 4. “I forgot my credit card.” 5. “I love you so much!” 5. “I listen to Rush Limbaugh.” 7.  ”You should meet my wives.” 8. “I’m a huge Nickelback fan.” 9. “Yeah, so my ex-boyfriend…” 10. “Duck football [...]